Back!

Happy to say I am no longer a proofreader, also happy to report, I am no longer employed... so since 2005 A LOT of shit has happened, Also I have a rather large box full of journals, poetic prose, random ramblings and a whole fistful of whatnot, a few enormous fists actually ( get your mind outta the gutter!!!!) so I am going to be sharing my innermost weirdness and all such other nonsense, and hopefully people will read it, like it, I actually dont give a fuck...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7Rq8

Happy monday ya bastards!!!

this is why i hate my job

i have been working here for 2 and a half months, and this job has managed to take away from me, so much more than its given! this is why i hate my job!

• i am a proofreader
• i proofread government gazettes
• reading two copies of the same bullshit every day hurts
• nobody speaks to me
• im surrounded by woman with whom i have nothing in common
• broody/pregnant/recently given birth, this is all they talk about
• my computer has been fucked since day 1 and no-one gives a shit
• my salary doesnt cover petrol and food let alone anything else
• i live with my parents (see above)
• i proofread government gazettes
• 1st week-friday-car broken into
• 2nd week-friday- parked car rolls into the back of mine
• 4th week-wednesday- usual parking is taken-park across the road-get called to reception just before lunch-car is stolen
• along with car- 40 original cds-40 copied cds- house keys-new stereo system- memory stick- battery charger- bafana bafana shirt from the game against england- my hackey sack
• boss apologises and says he will find me secure parking-one month later i havent heard back
• i am a proofreader
• if i work here for a year for the same salary, i have still lost money
• im a fucking proofreader

reasons i like my job:

• i recently discovered blogger

KILIMANJARO SOUP

one day on the foot of the mountain known as kilimanjaro, there was a man named cedric,
he was not a crow, he was a lobster,
he was 6ft4 and he had big buldgy eyes,
more than anything in the world, cedric wanted a cup of soup by royco, but where would he find one?
he decided to climb to the top of kilimanjaro and see if there was some there!
his lobster like claws (lobster like because he is a lobster) got him up the mountain very easily and in a matter of minutes.
once atop however cedric found there was no cup of soup, only cup of snack. cedric became enraged and began to scream, he then flung himself from the mountain, still angrily moaning like a fighting rhinoceros(even though he was not a rhinoceros, he was a lobster) and landed gently in a queen size bed with silk sheets and down duvets, he looked around and the scene that lay before him stunned him. he was in a beautiful valley with a river and a waterfall, prancing deer and playing rabbits, a beautiful glistening rainbow, and a pianist playing all of cedrics favourite songs. what was more astounding was that there on the bedside table before him lay, a royco cup of soup. cedric was thrilled as his dream slowly started to become a reality, on the bedside table opposite there was an already boiled kettle, the excitement was now mounting quickly.
then suddenly cedrics heart sank as he realised, not only was there no cup, but had there been one cedrics lobster like claws (as lobsters have) were incapable of holding a cup! he was shattered. cedric never shined shoes again.

beautiful love rose happy

ok so maybe with a stoopid title like this one more people will read this blog, not that this blog will have anything remotely interesting to say but im just curios. what do people wanna read?
im not so sure how to work this blog thing, found a blogger earlier called curly cat(i think) and now i wanna find curly cat again and i dont have a clue how??????????? a little help anyone?
well if anyone cares im sitting in a little cubicle listening to clicks and beeps constantly going off around me, peering over my shoulder every so often incase the boss comes by, and i have absolutely bugger all to do, i cant work because something on my pc is screwed and even though i have been nagging I.T they have given me no reply since wednesday, feel like a bit of a tosser nagging the boss to talk to them so i have decided to leave it and just blog blog blog, its their money and they can waste it however they want to!

i consider myself stagnant, in a general way!

where is your happiness

i hate shopping centres on saturday mornings, the way people stop and go and stop and go, the way they browse, all these happy little things that they have worked so hard all week to be able to afford, to enrich their lives, to make them better people, better parents, better brothers, better sisters, better aunts and uncles, better cousins, better murderers, peaodofiles, rapists, adulterers, better assholes. they spill out of shops with smiles on there stupid faces, they surround you and their human stench fills the air mixing with the stench of the countless thousands and stagnating into one big pugnant, choking human disease, one big fucking disaster. the human race? no-ones winning. breakfast, traffic, work, lunch,work,traffic,dinner,routine sex(maybe, or a boring book) sleep-just to do it all again the next day! there may be something wrong with you if you arent like them, but theres definitely something wrong if you are. assholes